(Written) Feb 3, 2012, PM. 

Well, I’ve just finished my last day of work. Ben wrapped up earlier this week. We’re officially homeless and unemployed, or, as I like to think of it, Rangers. (You know, not all who wander are lost…) We’re ready to step out the front door and set out to see the world.

I’m panicking a little.

Just a bit, mind you. Mostly I’m excited. Really, really, thrilled to the point of jumping out of my skin excited. But just starting to feel a bit butterflies-around-the-edges scared. I know, for me, the point of no return was when I decided to go. And I know I effectively quit my jobs when I gave notice a month ago. They’ve been great jobs, and I’ve enjoyed them. And like a nut, I’m choosing to leave. The ties that bind, even when they’re good, hold you to the ground. And I know for sure it’s time to fly.

But I’m getting a little scared, like a cartoon character who’s just run off the edge of a cliff and continued running on air with absolute confidence, right up until he looked down the wrinkled length of his coyote nose and noticed the dizzying drop. In these first post-job hours, I’m teetering with wild abandon between feeling happy, calm, this is good, and feeling like a flailing wily cartoon canid.

So I did the only sensible thing a girl can do, and changed out of work clothes into running shoes and took my dog for a run.

(My dog. A ten year old terrier named Loki, after the Norse trickster god. He was going to be coming along and chasing kangaroos until the cows came home, but the continent of Australia doesn’t have rabies and they’re quite particular about keeping it that way. My noble parents are dog-sitting until Loki can rejoin the team for the next adventure.)

I found myself feeling light and happy, running into the sunset, and blogging away in my head. I was making changes, tweaking, editing, writing up new adventures to be had, and ran back merrily to mentally continue the adventure.

And then I couldn’t log into blogger.

Apparently, in the excitement over coming up with awesome blog names and passwords, Ben and I had neglected to write down our password. And being totally, completely, utterly calm like I am, I started wigging out. I tried every combination of password reset options available, until blogger told me they’d review it and get back to me in three to five days.

At which point I started wigging out aloud loud about how I desperately wanted to upload posts and despairing as to how could we possibly begin the adventure without access to our trip log, and Ben, ever sanguine and seeing through the completely impenetrable fog of the massive problem, pointed out that we could just record our posts on the desktop and post them whenever we got access back. And, very tactfully and wisely not making any insinuation about a possible connection between my recent job-leaving and flailing-coyote impression, asked if I wanted to join him for a couple of miles.

God, yes.

So I went for a second run (relax, it was only four miles in all), and saw the rest of the sunset down, and realized just maybe we could probably leave for Australia even if we can’t put our posts up right away.

Work is done. This entire career chapter of my life has closed, with an excellently clear and ringing final note. It has been lovely, FUSION Mind-Body-Spirit and Ojas Wellness Center. I’ll miss you both terribly.

But it’s time, and I’m ready, ready, ready to run.

I think my inner cartoon coyote has found her parachute.

Falling becomes flying when you spread your wings.